Life With Jenny: Type 1 Diabetes, a toddler & pregnancy #2

It's November 2006. Just before Thanksgiving. Ryann is 10 months old, speaking gibberish and crawling everywhere-but refusing to try to walk! As I'm sure most mothers can relate, when our babies start getting bigger, we start to miss the days of them being tiny and depending on you for everything. Inevitably, we start thinking we want another baby. I told Steven about my baby fever and he wasn't too sure we should have another baby so soon but I was relentless. I wouldn't stop talking about it (amongst other things, haha)! Interestingly, I was actually taking birth control pills after having Ryann. Well, in December, 2 days before Christmas, according to my birth control pills, I should have started my cycle - a week ago. There is no way I can be pregnant...I take my birth control pills every day at the same time like I'm supposed to!

We were in North Carolina for Christmas at Steven's parents house. I told Steven that I hadn't started my cycle yet and I think I needed to take a pregnancy test. So, we went to the store and got a few tests, yes a few because I wanted to be sure! I remember going to the bathroom and feeling so nervous. I also remembered the last time I took a pregnancy test, how fast that test showed a positive result. But again, there was no way I could be pregnant - that's the whole point of "birth control", right?

God had other plans!

I took the first of many tests. I think subconsciously, I was expecting a positive pregnancy test and I was expecting it to be just like the last time-super fast. This was different. I actually had to wait the 3 minutes to find out if it was positive or not! 3 minutes felt like an eternity. I had so many racing thoughts. I was so excited for the possibility of being pregnant again and having another baby. I was so excited for Ryann to have a brother or sister!

Finally, it had been 3 minutes.

I checked the test. It displayed the faintest plus sign, it was barely detectable. But it was there! I tried to keep my excitement down because what if it was a false positive? The instructions do say that you're supposed to take the test first thing in the morning...it was mid afternoon at this point. So I waited until morning and took another test. I had to wait the 3 minutes again, but this time, the plus sign was much more visible! I felt confident in this test result and let the excitement flow through me! I was overjoyed, we were going to have another baby, Ryann was going to get a baby brother or sister, I was absolutely ecstatic! I showed Steven the tests and while he initially had some financial concerns, he was just as excited!

On Christmas day, mom and dad's house was full of family. We were all gathered around the living room, taking turns opening presents. It was our turn to give our gifts to family; money was tight for us as we were young, had a baby and I wasn't working, so we didn't have any tangible gifts to give the family. But, God blessed us with a miracle so we decided to share the news with the family!

Our families were excited for us, all the grandparents were excited there was another grandbaby on the way! My mom had some concerns given my last pregnancy and delivery, which the memories from were still very fresh in her mind, but even though she had her concerns, she was still pretty excited to be a grandma again.

Right after we rang in 2007, Steven found out that he was going to be deploying to Iraq. I had so many questions. Why? For how long? What about Ryann? What about the baby on the way? Would he be in danger? Would he come home, alive? I felt sick to my stomach when he told me this news. I didn't want him to go to Iraq, to go to war. I was so scared, for him. I didn't want anything to happen to Steven. I wanted him to be able to watch his children grow up. We didn't have a date yet as to when Steven was going to be leaving, so we enjoyed all the moments we had together. We also decided that when he did deploy, that Ryann and I would go to North Carolina to stay with my parents while he was gone, that way I wouldn't be completely alone with a toddler and a baby.

This pregnancy was different than my first. I had some occasional nausea and morning sickness but for the most part, I was feeling pretty good. I appreciated that so much because there was no way I could go through what I went through with my first pregnancy again, with a toddler! Toddlers are very B U S Y little people, and I really didn't have time to be throwing up and sleeping all the time! Being able to eat and keep the food down was also super nice too! It was nice that I wasn't super sick while we had limited time left with Steven before he deployed. I still hated the idea of him deploying to Iraq, during wartime. I wanted so badly for it to get cancelled and he wouldn't have to go. Unfortunately, my wish did not come true.

Steven deployed in March of 2007 to Iraq. Saying 'see you later' to him and sending him off to get on a plane to go to a foreign country where an active war was happening, where military members were going and putting their lives down for this country, was the most heart-wrenching thing I'd had ever done. The lump in my throat that never went away. The days and weeks that would go by without hearing from him, not knowing if he was okay or not, had my stomach in knots all the time. It was always exciting when I'd see the caller ID on my phone pop up with the + sign (the number was always different, but the + sign was always there) because I knew it was Steven. I knew he was okay. Hearing his voice would bring tears of joy to my eyes and silently, I thanked God for protecting him. Sometimes we got to talk for 20-30 minutes and other times it was just a quick couple minute phone call to exchange I love you's and know that each other was okay.

Miraculously, during all of the things that were going on in our lives, my blood sugars were great! I didn't have any of those weird low blood sugars where I'd basically been unconscious for an unknown amount of time like I did with Ryann. I could eat pretty normally and I craved strawberries, watermelon, and McDonalds chicken strips (I don't think they have those anymore...)! All of my doctors appointments were going great, both baby and I looked healthy and were right on track. My A1C readings were staying around 6.3-6.5. This pregnancy was going fantastically! I had a different doctor this time around and told her about my first pregnancy as well as labor and delivery. So it turns out that my pelvis is just a tad bit smaller than the average female, and diabetic mothers tend to have larger babies so that is why I had such a hard time delivering Ryann. My doctor for this pregnancy heard everything I said and got the records from my first pregnancy. She suggested we do a planned C- Section to avoid the baby getting stuck and having to go through another episiotomy and all the trauma. We could also plan it ahead of time so that way Steven could try to take his R&R to come home for the birth of the second baby.

We planned the C-section date for August 16, 2007, at 38 weeks pregnant. Steven planned his leave so he could be home for the birth. I was excited that Steven would be able to be at this birth and help me and keep me calm. Just like I had no idea what to expect the first time I gave birth, this second time was going to be totally different than the first, so again, I had no idea what to expect!

The days and weeks passed quickly. Ryann was getting so big and we started potty training! This girl didn't decide to ACTUALLY start walking until she was 15 months old - basically we just got to the point of "Ryann, you have to walk because the baby in mommy's tummy is getting too big for me to carry you anymore!" I was so thankful when she started walking all the time - but at the same time when you're that pregnant and have a newly walking toddler, life gets interesting pretty fast! Once she figured out she could walk, she was on the move all the time! Growing a human and chasing another one was exhausting! I wouldn't trade it for the world though, and would absolutely do it again!

Delivery day was approaching. I had everything we needed for the baby and myself this time. Steven had his trip all planned and scheduled. I spoke to Steven a few days before the surgery, he was getting ready to go from Iraq, to Kuwait, to Ireland, to Atlanta, Georgia, to Fayetteville, North Carolina. He told me he'd have little contact with me during his travel but we'd see each other soon. I had to adopt the "no news is good news" mind set so that I wouldn't worry about him so much.

August 16, 2007. It's 5am. I made it to 38 weeks with no complications! I have to be at the hospital at 7am to get checked in for surgery. I still haven't heard from Steven and thought he'd be here by now. But again, "no news is good news". My mom took me to the hospital. I went up to labor and delivery and got checked in and then taken back to get prepped for surgery. I was so nervous. Surgery was a big deal. They were going to cut me open and take the baby out! Never mind nervous, I was scared. And excited because we were going to meet our second baby!

The amount of prep work there is for surgery is pretty crazy. Things had to be shaved, IV's had to be started, paperwork had to be signed, vitals taken, conversations, waiting, so many things. Finally, I'm all prepped and they take me back to the surgery room. We enter the surgical suite and the first thing I notice is that it's absolutely freezing in there and it's incredibly bright, like hurts my eyes bright. I had to move from my warm bed to the ice cold operating table. Since I was having a C-section, I had to have a spinal block that would make me numb from the chest down. I had to sit on the side of that cold operating table while I had a nurse stand in front of me to keep me from falling forward, another behind to keep me from falling backwards and then the anesthesiologist to administer the spinal block. That was the weirdest feeling. It was scary too because ya know, there's the potential risks of getting a needle with medication jabbed into your spinal cord.

After getting the spinal block and getting laid down on what felt like a slab of ice, they got some other meds going through my IV. Then they put my arms out to my sides into a T shape and strapped me down so I couldn't move my arms. Now we were just getting everything prepped and waiting for the meds to kick in. My mom was there with me, holding my hand. After some time, the doctor wanted to test to see if I was numb. She had a little clamp device that she'd pinch my belly button with and ask if I could feel it. Well, in the surgical suite, the lights that were so incredibly bright, were those big circular lights that had the smaller circular lights inside the bigger circle (similar to the picture above). It was metal or steel so I could actually see the reflection of my belly in the light. I could see when the doctor was "pinching" me. So I'd see her do it, she'd ask if I could feel it, and even though I couldn't, I said I could because I was scared. Finally, the anesthesiologist caught on to me and came around the side of the table. She started talking to me about Ryann. During the conversation, I knew what she was doing, she was distracting me so the doctor could get started. I saw her nod to the doctor. A few moments later, the anesthesiologist tells me that the doctor has started. I said "I know, I knew what you were doing". She chuckled and then said it wouldn't be long now until we meet the baby.

A few minutes after surgery started, I felt a lot of pressure and it felt like I couldn't breathe. Being awake for surgery was the weirdest thing. I started to hyperventilate, the doctor kept telling me to breathe, I was trying but still felt like I couldn't breathe. Panic set in and I was tied down and numb. I was terrified. The anesthesiologist gave me Ketamine - which I later found out was a horse tranquilizer - to calm me down. It definitely worked. I calmed down. A lot. I could barely keep my eyes open.

Phew - this is a long one! Thank you for reading all of this and for being here to hear my story. Next week, Tuesday's post will finish talking about the birth of our second baby, recovery, where is Steven?, discharge, all the things! Make sure you check it out!

Connect with me and tell me what you think, tell me your story!

Until Tuesday...

xoxo - Jenny