Life With Jenny: Type 1 Diabetes, a toddler, deployment and a baby!

The Ketamine definitely calmed me down, so much so that I could barely keep my eyes open. The next thing I know the doctor says the baby is out, she looks good, but she had the cord wrapped around her neck so she's a little blue right now. A minute later the baby was crying and my very drugged self felt relieved. They got the baby all swaddled and brought her over to me and put her on my chest, but because my arms were tied down, I couldn't touch her. I kissed her and talked to her. Then the nurses took her to the nursery while the doctor finished up with me. It had been planned to get my tubes tied while I was in surgery since I had a C Section and was already open on the table. That took just a few minutes and then she put everything back where it was supposed to be and glued me back together. Yep, glued the incision shut! I assumed there was going to be staples, kind of glad my doctor chose the glue route. After I was all put back together, they took me to recovery to be monitored for about an hour.

When I got to recovery, my body temperature plummeted. I was absolutely freezing. They put warming blankets on me, gave me warm IV fluids, all kinds of things. I still had the Ketamine on board so I went back to sleep! Some time later, I really have no idea how long, I woke up and felt warmer, but still tired. My vitals were back to normal so it was time to move me to the mother baby unit. A young man who was part of what I can only assume is the transportation team at the hospital, came to move me to my room on the mother baby unit. He introduces himself and then we get to pushing my bed through the hallways, hop on an elevator and then down a few more hallways when we finally arrive at my "room". Now, hear me out, I'm grateful to have had a room, but this room was TINY. Like the size of a closet! Anyways, so I need to get moved off of the bed I was transported in to the bed in the room. The young man lines the beds up and then asks me if I can move my legs at all. For the first time since waking up, I thought about my legs. I tried to wiggle my toes and lift my legs but I could not. I could not feel anything from my hips down. I told him I could not, I couldn't feel my legs. Brace yourself, here comes the horrifying part!

This man looked at me after I said I couldn't feel anything from the hips down, almost confused and annoyed. He decides that he can move me, a whole person who just had a pretty major surgery, BY HIMSELF. He could have easily called for help. I'm sure one of the nurses on the floor would have come to help him move me from one bed to the other. Nope. He squeezed between the bed in the room and the wall, reached over and grabbed the sheet I was laying on and dragged me over. I was pretty numb from the hips down, but I was getting feeling back in my abdominal area. Let me tell you, that man dragging me over like that was not smooth and I felt all the pain where my incision was. I was holding back tears at this point. I was 21 years old and at the time, thought I had done something wrong, not him. That it should not have been painful and crying over it would make me weak, so I held back the tears. He said he needed to get the sheet out from under me that he dragged me over on, so I had to use my arms and hold onto the beds rails to move myself side to side. This was also painful. 0 out of 10 recommend. Finally he exited the room and I cried - but oh my goodness did crying hurt! So I stopped that real quick! I just worked on breathing through the pain.

About 20 minutes later, a nurse came in to welcome me to the floor and introduce herself. She took my vitals, looked at my incision and asked about my pain. I told her that I was in a lot of pain from being moved from one bed to the other, that the man that moved me, did it himself and didn't seek assistance when I told him I couldn't move my legs. She apologized for him and offered pain medicine. I just asked for some Tylenol because I wanted to be able to see my baby. Tylenol didn't do much, but I think it helped a tiny bit. Not long after, the nurse brought the baby to my room.

Welcome to the world, Erica Rose! Born August 16, 2007 at 11:04am, weighing 6lbs 13oz and 19 inches long. This birth was so different than my first. I was so excited to have the baby in my room with me, I didn't get to do that with Ryann because she had to be in the NICU. I was so incredibly thankful. The nurse handed Erica to me considering I couldn't move my legs yet. I just held her and we rested together. Some time later, the nurse came back in and we put Erica back in her bassinet. I got to eat a little bit. I still hadn't heard from Steven. My mom came to visit, she held Erica for a while and then she went home to rest.

I was getting worried about Steven, I kept checking my emails but nothing. I kept telling myself that no news is good news. I focused on Erica. I finally got feeling back in my legs so was able to get out of bed and move around a bit in the room. I was definitely sore and my incision site was painful. I was also exhausted. I kept Erica with me that first night; I didn't want to be alone. We had a pretty good first night, Erica woke up a few times to eat and be changed, but other than that she was a happy baby. The nurses kept checking on us and asking if I wanted anything for pain, I continued to decline; I wanted to be able to take care of Erica.

The next morning my mom stopped by to check on us and get her baby snuggles. She helped me get cleaned up a little bit. Erica fell asleep and I was also tired so mom headed out so I could rest. After mom left, I put my head back and closed my eyes. 2 minutes later, my lunch was delivered. 3 minutes after that, the nurse came to check on me. 5 minutes after that, the doctor stopped by. Finally, 10 minutes went by and it was quiet. I closed my eyes again since the baby was still asleep, I just wanted to get a few minutes of sleep. 5 minutes after I closed my eyes, the door opened again. I was thinking, for the love of all that is holy, can this mama sleep?! I opened my eyes and looked towards the door and couldn't believe my eyes!

STEVEN WAS HERE!!! Steven was standing in uniform in the doorway. Legitimately, for just a moment, I didn't think it was real! He came over to me and hugged me. I cried happy tears which then turned into pain tears because crying hurt my incision. I couldn't believe he was finally here! I was overjoyed! He put his bag down and then looked over at Erica in her bassinet - I'll never forget the way his face looked seeing his newborn daughter for the first time, such a sweet moment. He looked at me and asked if he could pick her up, which I thought was so sweet but it also made me chuckle because I was like well yeah, she's yours! Steven picked Erica up and held her close, she looked so tiny in his strong arms. My heart was melting all over again.

After a few minutes of holding Erica, Steven put her down so she could continue to sleep and then he sat with me on the bed. He asked me all the questions, how I was, how I was feeling. I asked him what happened since I hadn't heard from him. He apologized profusely for not making it to the birth. It was completely out of his hands though, all the flying he had to do to get to us, there was bound to be a hang-up somewhere. It turns out that once he was back in the US, in Atlanta, his flight was delayed. He asked some people on a different flight going to North Carolina if they'd switch planes with him because he was trying to get home to see his daughter's birth. Every person he asked said no. Every single person. That blew my mind, and still does to this day! If a soldier who was travelling from overseas on deployment had ever or ever does approach me at an airport and asks if I would switch flights with them-no matter the reason they're trying to get home, I will switch with them in a heartbeat. One of the people he asked literally told him no, she can't switch with him because she's trying to get home to her kids from a business trip. My husband was trying to get home for the birth of his daughter! Ugh, I just don't understand. So, because of the delayed flight, Steven was a day late to the hospital, but it was okay. He was here now, and that's all that mattered.

The next day we were discharged from the hospital. Part of me was terrified that they'd discharge me and keep Erica, just because that was how it went with Ryann. But praise God, Erica and I were discharged at the same time! Steven got the car for us and Erica and I were wheeled to the entrance. We stopped by my parents house to say hi and then we went to Steven's parents house; they didn't know he was here yet so it was pretty exciting! We were also so excited for Ryann to see daddy and to meet her baby sister.

Steven's parents were so happy to see us. Mom was absolutely overjoyed because she got to see her new grandbaby and her son at the same time, it was a wonderful surprise! Ryann was so happy to see daddy, she wouldn't stop hugging him! Ryann was very happy to see mommy too, but wasn't too sure about her new sister...she wanted to pick her up and carry her around like a baby doll and got upset that we wouldn't let her! She tried to give Erica toys but being just 2 days old, Erica was asleep the majority of the time. Ryann lost interest until the first time Erica cried, then she wanted to calm and comfort the baby. It was pretty sweet. It felt so good to have my family all in one place. My heart felt whole.

As we know, so many things can affect a diabetics blood sugar. 4 days after Erica was born, Steven and I put the girls to sleep for the night and were watching TV. All the sudden I didn't feel quite right. I felt like my blood sugar was low, but I also couldn't think clearly or communicate well. I checked my blood sugar and shockingly, it was 19!! So normal is about 80-120 - I personally prefer 90-160, it's where I feel the best. A blood sugar of 55 is considered extremely low. I have no idea how I was still conscious with a blood sugar of 19. I even checked it again to make sure it wasn't a false reading. The second test came back at 20. 20!! I couldn't get up. I couldn't even tell Steven what to get me. Thankfully, he knew what to do. He got me some glucose tablets and then made me a sandwich. It took some time, but my blood sugar returned to normal. I was and still am so grateful Steven was home with me and helped me through that low. If he hadn't been there, I don't know that I would have been able to get my mom's attention.

Steven was home for 15 days. We had the best time. He got to bond with his girls. Those 15 days flew by. When he came home on leave, we were 6 months into a 15 month deployment. We still had another 9 months to go before he was back home in garrison for a while. We never said 'Goodbye', always 'See you later', but I hated it every single time. My heart broke each time I had to say 'see you later', especially when he was leaving to a war zone. I know he hated leaving us just as much, he was just better at not showing it than I was.

By the grace of God, Steven made it home from that 15 month deployment alive and in one piece. The girls and I moved back to Georgia just before Steven got home so I could get everything set up before he got back from deployment. I even had some adjusting to do because with two small children, I got used to having grandparents nearby that could help me out if I needed it. Now, it was just me and the girls, all on our own. I was a tiny bit scared, but after a couple days, I figured it all out and we were good!

Steven came home on Mother's day in 2008. It was the best Mother's day present! Our family was whole again, this time for longer than 15 days. Looking back, I give all the glory and all the praise to God for so many things. Our healthy children, keeping Steven safe during a very dangerous deployment, keeping me healthy and giving me strength I didn't know I had. I am eternally grateful to God, He is so good!

Thank you for being on this journey with me. Writing this blog is definitely therapeutic and healing for me and I pray it is helping someone else out there know that they aren't alone and their story does matter! Find me on Instagram and Facebook, email me, connect with me! Let me know what you think of the blog, tell me your stories and experiences. I'm so glad you're here. Until Friday...

xoxo - Jenny